He's just trying to help me

Recently I have been told by my grandpa that my nose blowing is so loud that it is a "social handicap." I forget who said it, I think it was George Carlin, but it went along the lines of- If anyone ever tries to tell you, "I'm just trying to help you," you better run as fast as you can in the other direction. Luckily my grandpa gives me medical advice without charge and he always ends his thoughts with, "I'm just trying to help you." So when he was "just trying to help me" with my nasal handicap I didn't hesitate to call a doctor and schedule an appointment, for if I don't get this fixed soon my future job may be at risk. Grandpa says that my new boss will most certainly fire me as soon as he hears me blow my nose, and this will likely cause me emotional problems as well.

But not only was he helpful enough to give me advice in regards to my nose, but little did I know that I could have diabetes too. This was pointed out to me when Grandpa noticed that I drink water. Now I shouldn't be judgemental here and question an 85-year old retired doctor who can not always make distinctions between the dishwasher and the microwave (and the stove, fridge, cabinets and toaster oven) but sometimes Grandpop himself falls short on the suggested 8 glasses of water a day.
Here is a list of what Grandpop drinks on an average day (meaning every day).
Coffee for breakfast
Cold coffee for lunch
Beer at 4 pm
More beer until bed
Sometimes wine- (If you see grandpop drinking wine it is advised to avoid all contact with him.)

Of course, because I drink water, I have diabetes. Almost 4 years of college and you would hope I've learned something. Other reasons that I have diabetes include a family history. "Your mother had diabetes," he said. "Actually she didn't," was my reply, "she had leukemia but not diabetes." "Oh, well, yeah, I knew she had something," was his endearing response followed by, "I'm just trying to help you."
The last time he insisted I had diabetes he wouldn't give it up until I tested my blood sugar with Gradmom's glucose monitor. Of course I was fine, but that was a year ago. He would like me to be tested again, for as he put it, "you could have got it two weeks ago." And I try to remember that he's just trying to help me.