Thursday, March 13, 2008

Sorry about the lull...

I don't think I've really ever typed the word "lull." Let's define it.
Lull: 1. calm by deception; 2. letup: a pause during which things are calm or activities are diminished; 3. become quiet or less intensive

Another word I really despise: healthful. Why can't you just say "healthy"?

And, currently Peter is in the other room trying to explain Zoolander to Grandmom. They're at the point in the movie when they have the "walk-off." Grandmom is trying her best to comprehend, but I think Zoolander might be a bit much for a 77 year-old to "get".

Anyway, Grandpop has been a bit bland lately. Therefore, there hasn't been a lot to write about but I'll do my best. I try to just write about the best of the best when it comes to Grandpop's craziness, and it's just become rather ordinary for Grandpop to ask me, "Are you going camping?" as I walk out the door. I mean, it's just so common for him to ask such ridiculous questions that it has become the norm.

So when I drove Grandmom's car to Massachusetts Grandpop was apparently bugging her the whole time about when the next inspection sticker was due on the car. When I got back to Delaware I looked at the license plate and the inspection is good until October 31, 2008. Grandpop told Grandmom that I had told him that I was driving their car to Colorado in the morning, so I needed to go get an inspection before I left. Of course, none of this was true. So, Grandpop comes outside and asks me when the inspection is due and I tell him, October 31, 2008. He looks at me for a second, and you can tell he's really concentrating, and then he asks, "What year is it again?"
I tell him it's 2008 and he says, "Ok, so we've got 2 weeks before we need an inspection?" "No," I reply, "October is 9 months away." Then he says, "If you say so," which is one of his favorite saying lately. He never believes anyone who still has an actual short-term memory, and he says it like such a Grade-A dickhead.

On the news the other night Terry Morran was covering a story on the Democratic primaries. Grandpop says, "They're all votin' for him, huh?" Funny Grandpop assumes the news anchor is running for president.

We were sitting in the office the other day, which looks out on the front yard and street. A car drives down the street and Grandpop says, "There's a car in our driveway!" When we tell him that the car was just driving down the street he says, "Oh, I thought I was in the backyard."

Gus was dropping off a bunch of his latest buys the other night and I overheard Grandpop telling Grandmom that he thought someone was in the driveway. I poked my head out of the bathroom and said that Gus was here dropping some stuff off. I close the door and get ready to take a shower and Grandpop starts knocking on the bathroom door asking, "Gus? Are you in there? Who's in there?" And I had seriously just talked to him, to his face, from 5 feet away, 4 seconds prior to that.

When we had quiche the other night Grandpop asks, "Is this chocolate?" "No George," Grandmom says, "It's quiche and it needs to cool." "WHAT?" he says, "Why are we going to the pool?"

When the news was talking about the NY Philharmonic playing in North Korea, Charlie Gibson wrapped up the segment saying that North Korea was allowing Eric Clapton to play sometime soon there, and that he'll be the first Western rockstar to ever play there. Grandpop chuckles and asks, "What's a rockstar?" Grandmom and I sigh and she actually explains to him what a rockstar is, even though she references Elvis as "contemporary." Grandpop asks, "When was that invented? In the 1920's?"
Dude, if you don't know what a rockstar is in the year 2008, you are seriously behind on like 50 years of pop-culture.

I overheard Grandpop walk into the office where Grandmom was playing bridge on the computer and Grandpop says to her, "Peggy, I need you to come turn off this machine in the other room." I love it how anything that was invented in the past 100 years is referred to as a "machine" and anything that can hold something else is a "container." Anyway, she tells him to get Peter to turn off the "machine" since she was playing bridge and didn't feel like getting up. Grandpop says, "Peter doesn't know how to turn the machine off." Come to find out Grandpop was talking about this crazy new invention we call the "television." Eventually Peter was actually able to turn off the machine. Grandpop just underestimates what his children and grandchildren are capable of. But he means well. (And I hope he lives to 115. Sarcasm, what sarcasm?)

When Peter, Gus and Margaret were over cooking for Gourmet last Saturday Grandpop was going hysterical over all of the action in the kitchen. He kept asking what everyone was doing and why they had to make so much noise. Peter asked Grandmom what she was going to have for dinner and she said the following so nonchalantly, so naturally, that it made me laugh for a solid minute. "I don't know," she said, as if she was really thinking about it, "I think I'll just give him some arsenic and call it a night." Oh Grandmom, you are the best person in the entire world.

That's the latest as of now. Hopefully I'll get a job very soon, and then move into my own apartment. The result will be a major lack of stories about Grandpop and his "pain-in-the-ass-ness" but it will result in a saner life for me. Enjoy my misery!


Tom said...

I'm wondering how one would use this definition of lull in a sentence:

Lull: 1. calm by deception;

Kendra said...

You can't write a post saying sorry about the lull and then NEVER POST AGAIN! It means you're not really sorry.

Get on it buddy.

Ralph said...

Woof Woof